Agreements v expectations
There is a powerful distinction useful in just about every area of life: expectations vs. agreements.
Most of us have expectations. Expectations about how life should go and how people should behave.
Invariably, many of these expectations are not met. As a result, we are disappointed, frustrated and upset. We can begin to think that life is unfair, or doesn’t work, people don’t like us or can’t be trusted or that we can’t be successful.
Expectations breed the following: (dis)stress, anxiety, feelings of betrayal, (over)reaction and fearful and negative thoughts – just to name a few.
There’s an alternative though: Agreements.
Agreements are way to regain one’s power. To take responsibility for one’s life and state of mind.
Agreements are co-creative mutually-agreeable arrangements between the key players in a situation.
In an Agreement the stake-holders come together and establish what is desired and when it will be delivered. Often-times the how will be spelled out. But mainly it’s the WHAT by WHEN.
The wonderful thing about Agreement is that they can be re-made, with better information and a more accurate target. If an Expectation isn’t met we blame a person or an entity (focusing externally), however, when an Agreement proves insufficient we can point to flaws in the creation of the Agreement.
Expectations are for the weak and Agreements for the strong: strong of intention, energy and character.
Going forward, where in life can you make agreements – not expectations?